There was a time when I thought coming home exhausted meant I had taken a great vacation.

If I needed another week to recover, that just meant we had made the most of our time.

We had gone everywhere.

Seen everything.

Done as much as we possibly could.

At least, that was the goal.

For years, I thought that was what good travelers did. If I was spending the money, taking time off work, and traveling somewhere I might never see again, I wanted to make every minute count.

The problem was that I got very good at making every minute count.

I wasn’t always very good at enjoying them.

When Vacation Became a Checklist

Once I started taking bigger vacations, there was always one more thing we could fit in.

If there was another overlook nearby, we stopped.

If there was another trail we could squeeze in before dark, we tried it.

If there was something we’d heard we absolutely had to see, I wanted to see it.

Italy was a perfect example.

When you’re traveling somewhere that far from home, it’s easy to start thinking about everything in terms of opportunity.

When will I ever be here again?

What if this is my only chance?

We’re already this close, so shouldn’t we go?

None of those thoughts are unreasonable.

But put enough of them together and suddenly you’re not experiencing Italy anymore.

You’re completing Italy.

I did the same thing on trips closer to home. California. National parks. Places I’d dreamed about seeing.

The destination changed, but the pressure didn’t.

I wanted to make sure we didn’t miss anything.

And that meant there was always somewhere else we needed to be.

I Thought Tired Meant We Had Done It Right

The vacations themselves were wonderful.

That’s important.

I don’t look back at those trips and wish we hadn’t taken them. We made memories I wouldn’t trade for anything.

But I also remember coming home completely worn out.

There would be suitcases to unpack, laundry piled up, pictures to sort through and real life waiting for me the next morning.

And instead of feeling refreshed after vacation, I felt like I needed another one.

For a long time, I accepted that as part of traveling.

Of course I was tired.

Look at everything we’d done.

In a strange way, the exhaustion almost felt like proof that we’d gotten our money’s worth.

It took me a long time to realize that maybe I was measuring the wrong thing.

I Started Asking a Different Question

Eventually, I stopped asking:

How much can we fit into this trip?

And started asking:

How do we actually want this trip to feel?

That sounds like a small difference.

It changed almost everything.

I still plan. I’m probably always going to plan.

I like knowing where we’re going. I like researching before we leave. I like having a general idea of what we want to see.

What I’ve stopped doing is assuming that everything I’ve researched has to make it onto the trip.

There’s a difference between knowing your options and turning those options into obligations.

That distinction has given us a lot more freedom.

Sometimes we drive farther than we expected because we’re having a great day.

Sometimes we stop earlier.

Sometimes something we’d planned for months gets skipped because we’re tired, the weather changed, the dogs need a break, or something else simply sounds better.

And I’m getting much better at being okay with that.

Three Weeks on the Road Put It to the Test

Our three-week road trip this summer should have been the ultimate test of my tendency to over plan.

We traveled through 16 states and visited seven national parks.

There was no shortage of things we could have done.

And we didn’t do all of them.

Not even close.

We changed plans.

We skipped stops.

We stayed longer in some places and left others sooner than expected.

There were roads we couldn’t take, places that were closed and things that simply didn’t work out.

Years ago, some of those changes probably would have bothered me.

This time, they were just part of the trip.

One of the biggest things I learned was that leaving something unseen doesn’t mean the vacation failed.

It just means there is still something left to see.

And sometimes what you gain by skipping one more attraction is an afternoon where nobody is rushing.

I’ve started valuing those afternoons a lot more.

I’m Still a Planner

I don’t think the answer is to stop planning.

At least it isn’t for me.

Having no plan at all would probably make me just as uncomfortable as having every hour scheduled.

What I’m looking for now is the middle.

I want enough of a plan that travel feels easy without so much of one that it starts feeling like work.

That might mean knowing the national parks we want to visit but not deciding exactly what we’ll do once we get there.

It might mean reserving a few important hotels while leaving other nights flexible.

It might mean having a list of possible stops without expecting ourselves to visit everyone.

Planning gives me options.

Flexibility gives me permission to choose among them.

That’s the balance I’m trying to find.

And I don’t think I’ve completely figured it out yet.

Maybe the Best Vacation Isn’t the Fullest One

This summer made me think differently about what it means to make the most of a vacation.

Maybe it isn’t about how many places we can fit into a week.

Maybe it’s about having enough time to notice the place we’re already standing.

To sit somewhere longer than necessary.

To take the scenic road because we’re curious.

To decide we’re done for the day even though technically we could fit in one more stop.

To wake up and change our minds.

I’m starting to think those empty spaces aren’t wasted vacation time.

They’re part of the vacation.

And strangely enough, when I stopped trying so hard to make every minute count, the individual moments started mattering more.

I Think I Learned This a Long Time Ago

There’s another part of this story that I’ve only recently started understanding.

I grew up in Montana, where some of my favorite childhood memories involved spending an entire day doing essentially one thing.

A trip to Yellowstone.

A picnic at Deer Creek.

A hike to Sioux Charley.

Even swim lessons could turn into an all-day event.

There wasn’t another attraction waiting afterward.

There was nowhere else we needed to be.

At some point after I moved away and started taking bigger vacations, I forgot that.

I thought I needed to learn how to travel differently.

Now I’m beginning to wonder whether I was actually trying to find my way back to something I already knew.

I wasn’t creating a new way to travel. I was coming back to the one that felt like home all along.

And that’s a story for another day.

---

Keep Reading

If you’re trying to find that same balance between planning a great trip and actually having time to enjoy it, these are a few more stories from our travels:

How to Plan a Road Trip Without Trying to See Everything
This is the practical side of how we build enough flexibility into a road trip to enjoy what happens along the way.

7 Road Trip Do’s and Don’ts I’d Follow Again After 3 Weeks on the Road
Three weeks and thousands of miles gave us plenty of time to figure out what worked—and what we’d do differently.

The Best Travel Memories Usually Aren’t Planned
Some of the moments I remember most from our trips never appeared on an itinerary.

When Beautiful Places Start to Look the Same
Because sometimes seeing more actually makes you appreciate each place a little less.

---

☕ Comfort Corner

Slowing down has changed the way I think about travel gear, too. I don’t need something because a travel list says I should pack it. I want the things that actually make the experience more comfortable.

My Travel Backpack
It keeps the things I actually use during the day together and within reach instead of buried somewhere in our luggage.

My Owala Water Bottle
It comes with me everywhere. Having cold water nearby is one of those tiny comforts I appreciate whether we’re driving all day or exploring somewhere on foot.

My Merrell Shoes
If we decide to walk a little farther or take an unexpected trail, comfortable shoes mean I don’t have to think twice about it.

My Fire Tablet
Not every minute of vacation needs to be sightseeing. Reading at the end of the day—or while everyone else is doing their own thing—is part of vacation for me, too.

---

Find all of my travel favorites in one place

You can browse my Travel Comfort & Style Amazon Storefront for more of the products that have earned a place in my travels.

---

Affiliate Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links. That means if you choose to make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I personally use and genuinely believe make travel more comfortable. If it hasn’t earned a place in my travels, you won’t find it here.

Travel isn’t about having the perfect gear. It’s about finding the little things that help you enjoy the journey a little more. These are mine.